My goals in life

In no particular order:

  • Be the top result of every google search imaginable.
  • Find a plot hole in reality
  • Write an autobiography of someone else, just to prove that the actual meaning of words doesn’t apply to me
  • Become the next Shakespeare by writing a 1000 page book comprised entirely of adjectives
  • Have a party where literally everybody in the world is invited, travel expenses paid
  • Get the phone number: (481) 516 2342
  • Write a song so beautiful that it makes Chuck Norris cry
  • “Set” the “world record” for “number” of “air” quotes “used” in “one speech”
  • Become a role model to myself
  • Legally change my name to “Señór Choolo”
  • Discover that The Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy is actually non-fiction

  • Become so awesome that the US government issues a search warrant to find the source of my awesomeness.
  • Be famous for my mode of transportation – Steve Woz style (maybe I’ll use a jetpack or something)
  • Invent a sport with so many rules that only people with an IQ of 200 and above can play it.
  • Do another episode of iEye
  • Get dugg so often that my website is never up
  • Invent a really stupid internet term that sweeps the nation
  • Eat an entire wheel of goulda cheese
  • Become a macbreak weekly regular, make my personal jingle an hour and a half long
  • Build a house entirely out of empty coke cans
  • Make a video so awesome that YouTube’s servers are all brought down
  • Have more twitter followers than the population of my town
  • Do a TED talk without using any words with more than 2 syllables in them
  • Discuss cream cheese for twenty minutes on at least 1 major news network
  • Twitter so often that the public timeline and my twitter page always look exactly the same
  • Go to the TWiT Cottage and ask for Evan Williams
  • Get beat up by Leo Laporte (possibly as a result of the latter)
  • Discover that Coca-Cola cures every disease known to man
  • Buy the first Moon Bounce that is actually on the moon.
  • Have so much money that I have to invent my own currency to keep track of it.
  • Become Iron Man
  • Hold the world record in something so ridiculous that it’s impossible to explain.
  • Become the CEO of Microsoft, Re-incarnate BOB, ‘Accidently’ go bankrupt
  • Make a documentary entirely about paint drying, make millions from people who lost bets.
  • Have an asteroid named after me that later turns out to be on a collision course with earth.
  • Star in “XKCD the movie” as a stick figure (I might have to loose some weight)
  • √ Write a “My goals in life” blog post instead of doing homework

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 4th, 2009 at 9:22 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.